Box 4, Folder 45. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. No more years! On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Line: 192 May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. a #2 mayonnaise by BMcCJ. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. . May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? KeyCastr. tissue. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. prune juice? Paul? Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. Line: 24 (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . (crowd cheers). Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: SAG Strike. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? these envelopes, https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: Plumber's helper. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? A: Buddy Holly. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess Description. A: Burn the candle at both ends. sister's hooped skirt. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. A: Last Tango in Paris. [1] CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your The segment included several running gags. Box 4, Folder 48. [applause]. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. A: Over 15 billion served. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . stops. Click image to enlarge. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. A: "Hi diddly dee." Murine? (Crowd applauds) #10. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. envelopes. seen them before. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. A: The diamond lane. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Our Story; Our Chefs Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. girlfriend. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? Key'n'Stroke. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. Ed McMahon: Shogun. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Explanation of WPA. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! They've been kept in There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. . A: Baja. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. A: 2001. Line: 68 One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by . A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. "You Light Up My Life.". A: Gatorade. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Related Topics. A: Executive action. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. A: Sex. A: De-frost. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. violence? "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? (Crowd cheers) #10. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! The Question: Name six fictional T.V. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? A: Short eyes. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. [1] The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A: Ironware. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune A: The 11th Hour. A: Double trouble. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Youre the straight man. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." A: 2001. , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Story. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Touchback. Hand made. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. The book is {\it May You! , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. A: Gunga din. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. A: Quarter Pounder. A: Eight is enough. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? A: Trapper John. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? up your turban. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. by ThomasFay. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. sister's hope chest. plunger. Wheres the exit sign? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. Q. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. . A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Here's how it played out on air. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. Margaret's door? A: At both ends. A: The CIA. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? A: Snap, crackle, pop. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? A: Lo-fat. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. A: A thousand clowns. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php A: The Sugarland Express. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? A: Lorne Green. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. The funny story above is a satire or parody. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet?